Sunday, April 20, 2008

Nuptial Knots....

Saturday again, was pondering over my last few days incidents to have a topic to blog, and this particular conversation hit me, and here I have penned my thoughts about that.

Few days back, I got a chance to meet up with some of my friends for a coffee, and a interesting but aged topic sprouted out - Love and Arranged Marriages, the reason it was interesting because, it happened between 6 of us, Sivaranjini being married, Sheetal being committed, Megha getting ready for the marriage in 10 days, Vardhan & Krishna being single but who knew the pleasure and pain of being in a relation and Siva being single, and all belonging to different cultural backgrounds of India.
(Don't wonder about where is my name, I didn't use the original names).

Sivaranjini whose marriage is arranged, Siva, Vardhan and Krishna talked about the factors influencing arranged marriages, Most of the times arranged marriages are not just between individuals - it involves the association and mingling of the families the couples come from, sometimes the religion and the caste. It's a complicated affair, no matter who you are, what you do for a living and how good your bank balance looks; you really can't be prepared for this. And most parents consider their last duty is to have their son or daughter to see that they pass through the marital rites of their choice.

Megha and Sheetal were more talking in the perspective, not against love marriages, but more like, even if parents don’t accept the partner we have chosen, we still will go ahead, believing/assuming parents will accept eventually in due course of time.

Personally, I feel Marriages should be an interesting experience where love and patience have to be harvested to reap the crop of affection and respect as time goes by.

In most love relationships, you are attracted to the person because of looks or personality and later you find out their flaws but still love them. It’s the same with arranged marriage, you like the person in first meet which is arranged, then have engagement period of 6 months or so, where you kind of get to know the other person by dating or whatever, and then marry.

There are several things when it comes to love marriages. Not all love marriages are successful and not all arranged marriages are successful. It’s a 50-50% ratio about love and arranged marriages.

I came to know that the odds are against love marriages working out. 50 to 60 percent of all love marriages (particularly in western countries) ending up in divorce against the mere 5 percent of arranged marriages ending up in divorce.

It’s all about love-arranged marriages or arranged-love marriages. I don’t see much difference between the two in today’s world. Every love marriage should be arranged. It’s about marrying someone and grows to love, irrespective of pre-marriage love.
Getting married will be a big change in one’s life - one has to share their life with a spouse. No matter how much love there is in between the two, it is an upward climb easing itself as you take it on steadily.

Family is a great thing and it is a huge responsibility, worth the time and effort! What is life without someone to love and a whole gang to make fun of?
And last but not least…. Hail singledom!

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